By Danita Morales Ramos, PhD
I’ve been at it again fulfilling my life’s mission to help as many people as I can live their best quality of life. To reach more people, I have authored books and spoken on large stages.
And now, I’ve started my own podcast called “Living Assertive with Purpose.” On my podcast, I discuss all things life and mental health. I’m so excited as I recorded my sixth episode today on divorce (read more about this in my newsletter).
As I continue to build my platform to share with the world ways to improve their experience in this journey called life, I continue to ask for your support. I can’t do it alone. With that in mind, would you do me a huge favor? Would you share this email asking 5 friends to listen and follow my podcast on either Spotify or Anchor? By sharing with your friends, it is my hope that they will share the information with their friends and the people who need the support and motivation can have access to it through our collective effort.
As always, I appreciate you continuing to support me on this journey.
Transforming victims to victors,
Divorce and Learning to Love Again
Divorce brings up a ton of emotions. We often feel loss, abandonment, and disappointments. It can be a difficult experience, but it does not have to be the end of your life. With some time and effort, you can heal and find love again.
Relationships with the ex-spouse can be the hardest relationship to heal from and leave one with conflicts. It is important for people post-divorce not to rush into any relationship blindly or involve themselves with someone who does not support their goals for healing. Otherwise, that person may find themselves in another unfulfilling relationship.
I know firsthand as I’ve divorced twice. I struggled deciding whether to divorce, struggled some more divorcing, and for a period I struggled overcoming the effects of divorce.
In my own journey, I learned to accept that no one’s life is perfect, and sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to. But just because your marriage didn’t work out, doesn’t mean you have to give up on love altogether. There are plenty of divorcees out there who have found love again – and you can too.
If you’re divorced and ready to start dating again, thinking about divorce or know someone who is recently divorce, share my latest episode on my podcast called “How Divorcees Can Heal and Find Love Again.” In this episode, I interview another divorce, Jackie Green, the founder of The Learning Center, who shares her journey and how she found not only love but a best friend after divorcing multiple times.
I like Jackie, have found love again and we want to share our stories and give those struggling with divorce some self-care tips and encouragement on healing.
PTSD and Stigma
PTSD is a serious mental health condition that can occur after a traumatic event. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of stigma around PTSD, which can make it difficult for people to seek help.
There are several myths about PTSD that contribute to the stigma. For example, many people believe that only soldiers can get PTSD, when in fact, anyone who has experienced a traumatic event can develop the condition. Other common myths include the idea that PTSD is a weakness or that people with PTSD are dangerous.
PTSD is a very real and serious condition. It’s important to educate yourself about the condition and dispel any myths that you may believe. Only then can we help to reduce the stigma around PTSD and make it easier for people to get the help they need. (I also did an interview with a retired first responder with PTSD on my podcast!)
Here are concepts and skills I’ve learned to overcome my own symptoms of PTSD:
- Identifying triggers – Triggers are thoughts, people, places, and things that remind me of my past trauma.
- Maladaptive beliefs – Are negative beliefs I developed because of trauma about myself, people, the world, and safety.
- Emotional Dysregulation – Ways in which I react (re-ACT) to situations in the present unconsciously based on past experiences.
- Mindfulness – One of the most useful ways I learn to bring myself back to the present in stressful situations by using deep breathing, exercise, journaling, and connecting with nature.
- Negative Self-Talk – Speaking negative of myself and by ability to adaptive.
- Positive Self-Talk – How I interrupt myself when I begin to speak negatively to myself.
- Time – What I give myself in any given moment to understand and respond to my situation.
- Support – What I build through positive relationships with family, friends, and mental health allies.
- Purpose – The intention behind everything that I do, and the reminder reset button I push when I get off course.
This list is not all my tools, but they are enough to help anyone who wants to let go of past trauma ruling their present-day life.
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